How the 3 C’s, 3 R’s, and 3 H’s came about
Rooster Crow is a Wake Up Call for Resiliency
PETER AND JUDAS
Connectedness (3 C’s) is “the Rooster Crow” moment. This is when a person in crisis awakens and sees hope. The kindness a person experiences creates a climate that fosters resiliency, recovery, and referral (3 R’s) promoting opportunities to find hope, help and healing (3 H’s). God gave me the concepts of the 3 Charlies and the 3 Romeos out of the account of Peter and Judas.
Peter and Judas both walked with the Lord and they both denied Him. Jesus reminded Peter that he would hear the rooster crow. The rooster crow became the 3 Romeos representing a level of safety (resiliency, recovery, and/or referral) and how it coalesced and became part of the The BE KIND Model. God designed us to respond to these levels of safety; however, not every person experiences all three but at minimum one or two. Peter experienced all three Romeos and the disciple Judas who experienced only one. You see God wired every person with resiliency. This biblical example provide us with a glimpse of what to look for and consider when helping those who may think suicide is their only option.
Peter did the unthinkable; yet Peter is similar to you and me. He represents the vulnerabilities of humanity. Peter was a disciple of Jesus Christ. He was a friend, a brother in the faith, and a loyal person filled with devotion to Jesus Christ. Yet, in his most vulnerable moment of fear, he chose to deny knowing Jesus Christ. A series of three people on different occasions and places approached Peter and confronted him about being seen with Jesus and each time he chose to lie. Peter denied Jesus three times. The Bible described Peter as being sorrowful for his actions as he wept after his denial.
What caused him to weep? When a person in crisis expresses regret or burst with emotion, this indicates resiliency. This God-given resiliency developed a mindset change for Peter when the rooster crowed. Every person has a conscience awareness when they do something wrong or something they regret. We can often ignore it or we can heed to it. Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” Matthew recorded this in chapter 26 verses 74-75, “… and he (Peter) went out and wept bitterly.”
The rooster crow is like our resiliency meter to signal our conscience. This was Peter’s pivotal moment. Peter chose not to ignore the rooster crow. Even though, Peter felt like a total failure and had proven himself a liar, he had personal regret. Just 24 hours prior to this time, Peter had assured Jesus of his loyalty and that he would never forsake Jesus even if all other disciples abandoned Him in the face of danger. In his good intentions to be loyal, he failed. When he heard the rooster crow, he was reminded of his failure. We all have a built-in warning signal in our conscience. This signal in our conscience is a reminder of how vulnerable we are to believe a self-lie that echoes that you don’t deserve to live. Peter’s regret was his place of resiliency.
Isolation is often the choice one makes when people come to this place of despondency; however, Peter did not isolate. Peter’s resiliency led to connecting in with others. After Christ was declared dead and buried, the scripture recorded that Peter was with John. John was another disciple of Christ. How do we know that? When the women discovered the tomb was empty, the Bible recorded they ran first to Peter and John with a breathless message: “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put Him!” (John 20:2). John was there for Peter. John was Peter’s crisis interventionist.
It is no wonder Peter connected with John, who was naturally compassionate. The Apostle John’s book is referred to as the Gospel of Love. People in crisis will look for someone, preferably a compassionate person. Based on research, a positive connection with a kind, compassionate person can lead someone to a place of safety. When you are kind, you make yourself better, and you make those around your better too. A powerful anonymous quote I come to appreciate is, “People should be better for having known you.”
Once Peter connected and reconnected with the other disciples, Peter was in the place of recovery. You, as a crisis interventionist like John, can be there for someone dealing with emotional and mental pain. In this recovery stage, we also have knowledge that Peter connected out. There were many followers of Jesus Christ. We know that because the author of the Book of Acts tells us that 120 were in the upper room on the day of Pentecost, including Peter. In the Apostle John’s account, the disciples went back to their group while Mary stayed outside the tomb. Jesus appeared to Mary and commissioned her. What was His commission? “Go to my brothers (including Peter) and tell them I am returning…” This message of hope was not just to one person but many. Connecting out is all about getting involved with outside resources to bring a person to a place of recovery.
It was not till Peter had a face-to-face encounter with Jesus Christ at His resurrection that Peter was fully healed and restored (Luke 24:34). Peter gave God his regrets, the emotional pain of denial, and his abandonment of Christ. We know Peter’s testament had moved towards complete restoration. His ultimate referral was connecting up. The referral stage to help someone in extreme crisis of suicide ideation requires the highest professional care. He connected up to the One who can redeem, restore, and heal. He allowed God to take His brokenness and turn it into opportunity because we know Peter became an Apostle of Jesus Christ who wrote two books in the New Testament to help others.
Peter was well known for his relatability with our human vulnerabilities, as Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Paul wrote about Peter in their books. Peter is an example that if you find yourself in an unsafe place emotionally, remember it is only temporary. Peter’s example showed how a connection is relevant. We fail in some way. Creating or having a connection helps us out of that place of failure. We know Peter lived a purposeful life. When his life drew to a close, Peter died a martyr for his faith. Upon his death, he declared his profession of faith and his loyalty to Jesus Christ.
The counterexample of Peter is the account with the disciple, Judas. Just like Peter, Judas had been with Christ for about three years during His ministry. Judas was part of the twelve disciples who lived, walked, and spent time with Jesus. Judas chose to deny Christ by selling Him out for thirty pieces of silver. Judas also had a ‘rooster crow’ moment, this warning signal is described in the Bible as Judas having regret after he betrayed Christ. Judas looked for connection and went back to the religious leaders, thinking they would be a connection of hope. Judas was in a place of Resiliency because he was remorseful. He was reminded of what he had done.
Had Judas connected in with the other disciples rather than the religious leaders who had condemned Jesus, the story could have turned out differently. Instead, Judas went to the Chief Priest. He did seek help … but from the wrong group of people. He chose the wrong connection. When Judas was met with rejection and humiliation, he threw the thirty pieces of silver at their feet. The chief priests cold-heartedly picked up the pieces of silver and said, “It is unlawful to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money. They did not show Judas any kindness. After conferring together, they used the money to buy a burial place in potter’s field for foreigners (Matthew 27:5-7).” The rejection led Judas to believe he had no other choice but to kill himself.
Judas was Resilient; however, Recovery and Referral never manifested because the wrong connection (Chief priests) showed him no empathy and rejected him. Although Judas tried to connect in (for resiliency), Judas never connected out or connected up. Judas was in a place of hopelessness and felt the only solution to his emotional pain was to isolate and die. He hung himself on a tree (Matthew 27:3-5).
Every person is emotionally wired for some type of human interaction and relationship. Judas believed the Chief Priest would give him some hope or forgiveness. When we lose connection, we can fall into hopelessness and helplessness. Don’t be like Judas and give up on connection. Judas seemed resilient, but he never connected with someone who could intervene on his behalf; thus, Judas did not have the same ending as Peter.
Here were two people who walked with Christ, and both denied Him. The difference is Peter connected while Judas became disconnected. The right connection was the remedy. The wrong choice to connect to someone unkind or less compassionate can lead to hopelessness. If you are someone seeking help, find a kind person. Genuine kindness is a divine characteristic of God.
As I continued to research, read, and compare articles and journals regarding suicide and suicide prevention, all research pointed to the root cause of suicide as hopelessness and helplessness. Peer-reviewed research suggested a transitional solution: Connection. Good things come in threes; thus, Think 3 Charlies prompt the questions to how one connects in, connects out, and connects up. The 3 Romeos: resiliency, recovery, and referral, identify and target the person in crisis’ level of safety. Then God brought to my mind the 3 Hotels: hope, help and healing. Once the person experiences a “rooster crow” moment, there is hope. The next step is helping. It may be a follow up, a visit, bringing food, sharing a meal, providing a resource, share some coping strategies, or making time to just listen to a person needing help. We should never help alone. The answer lies in multiplication through cooperation. We need each other. As a crisis interventionist, you may be the frontline defense to someone who needs help. You can be the one to lead them to the next person and the next person until the person in crisis remains safe. Things will shift and change for the person in crisis, so be sure to keep them in your prayers for their ultimate healing.
